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Long Held Biases

I dislike "silly" fantasy - the real world is so interesting -

Sunday May 9, 2010

Dear ...

Sorry I misbehaved at this Mother's day celebration
  at ...'s house while most of the crew was out hiking -

I should have watched the movie "Princess Bride"
   in a respectful manner with you,
rather than having to be dragged to the TV to see 
   "the fencing scene"
and then disputed with you how this fairy tale should end.
  (They of course survived, had a long passionate kiss,
   and "married and lived happily ever after".)

I wish to explain some long (like 70 year) held biases.
Maybe true (from my view point) stories from my kidhood.


Betty and I were talking my behavior,
   and I told her the following:

When I was a little kid, my parents had pounded into me
  "always tell the truth !! ".

1) As maybe a four year old, I had seen my mother writing -
    What is  that?  
     "I am writing to Aunt Marion.
      We write to each other to tell/talk about things."
    Aunt Marion lived a long way from us.
    I wanted to write to Aunt Marion, so
     got some paper and a pencil/crayon/... and wiggled
     lines across the paper as my mother had done.
    I wanted my mother to send my letter to Aunt Marion,
      and she said she would do that.
    Hours/days/weeks later I asked what Aunt Marion
     had said in return.
    My mother said that Aunt Marion had liked my letter.
      I said I wanted to send more -
         but that was not encouraged 
         and didn't seem to happen.
    Some month later I got into my mother's stuff -
      I did that a lot  !!
    and found my letter, apparently unsent.!!
      My mother's responses were unsatisfactory -
         and I never really believed her again.

2) sometime about then, I discovered Santa Claus
     was a fake, a myth, a lie -
   I had noticed  my father had not pushed Santa
     very hard, but my mother had - 
   My mother tried to weasel her way out - 
      said something about "the giving spirit"
      or some such which I figured was more lie.

   (I have never since participated in the 
      Santa bull shit. 
    How can you get little kids to believe you,
       when you lie to them??
    Telling them something you believe to be factual,
      but is later discovered to be in err is bad enough!!  )

3) Some "wise?" person was reputed to have said something like
         "Know the truth, it will make you free"
   I bit, hook, line and sinker -
   I swallowed the cool aid -

   Even a "white lie", "you look good"
      which I'm told is necessary to make the world go round,
      is distasteful to me.

   And it is beyond me why people insist on voting for,
       and paying the salaries of,
   people that the people know are lying to them.

4) When I was in maybe 8th grade ?? -
   My parents took "The Saturday Evening Post" which was
      delivered with the mail each week.  
  In there was always a story about:
     - boy meets girl
     - true love
     - they have stupid fight
     - make up
     - get married and live happily ever after.
   I was waiting for and read those stories as to:
     - how the world worked
   not as
     - entertainment.
   After too long (a year?) it suddenly dawned
     on me that the stories always had the same structure,
     only the names of the characters and towns changed
     and maybe the colors of the eyes and shoes changed?
   I was so irritated with myself for being fooled
     this was not reality, this was fake !!
   This was not the way real people behaved,
        just stories to help sell a magazine !!
    I was so ashamed for being so foolish !!
    I had wanted to know the real world,
        and got sucked into this pulp !!!

    Welcome to the "real world" of fantasy.

    Of course, if that fantasy comes loaded with
      some "message" - is that better ???

    I notice that many/most movie/fantasies  seem to
       have "messages" - even Avatar -

Anyway - I am sad/disturbed that I did not try to 
   make your (fantasy) afternoon more enjoyable.

Ed (the grumpiest one) Thelen